Hows your meadow?
Meadow, the company that brought you air fresheners, scent manipulators, rent-a-scent, and of course the more recent – Scent-Of-A-Lady Deodorant, have released a new line of anti-depressants. Long-time odor manipulation and scent aficionados, the researchers at Meadow had realized that the market for air-fresheners needed a direction, a new scent for the marketing dog. That is where Meadow anti-depressants come in.
Taking cues from their Scent-Of-A-Lady line, the chemical engineers at Meadow-Labs have spent the past decade researching the various effects of olfactory manipulation upon their various volunteers. It was not until last year that they realized several of the volunteers from a few of the test groups, a month after they had left their respective studies, had evidenced unaccounted side effects.
Rushing additional disclaimers to the family members, and quickly hiring the volunteers as olfactory contractors, Meadow began a battery of tests to determine the most likely cause. The result was astounding – a pair of intense chemicals that, when placed within one of their fast-acting odor-releasers, could enhance, deaden, or create temporary emotional responses, all within a one-hour time-span. The duration of the temporary emotional states was apparently tied to dosage, individual make-up, and method of application. But the effect was repeatable and affected each new olfactory contractor in exactly the same manner. In addition, there were no adverse side-effects.
Researchers at Meadow then rushed to identify the compounds, extract potential variations on those compounds, with the intent to determine the scope of their findings. The results were staggering. All existing Meadow plug-ins could be easily outfitted with the new materials. A small chemical shift in the current plug-ins would turn each into a perpetual emotional manipulative, able to enhance the customer’s Meadow experience in a way that had here-to-fore been impossible but now was not only possible but was cost-effective.
However, Meadow had one major problem – anti-hypnosis hysteria. It was well known (or well at least well-theorized) that several years ago motion picture companies had produced a limited run of manipulative films, designed to sell more candy and popcorn at the theatre. The results were pronounced and astounding; but, their published results created an anti-hypnosis scare that had affected all marketing campaigns. The lawyers at Meadow insisted that their new product would easily be construed as a form of hypnosis. And so Meadow decided to address the issue with appropriate subtlety.
First, the active chemicals in their new products were pitched by Meadow lawyers to the appropriate lobbyists, getting legislation passed that classified them as non-invasive. Then, legislation was fought pitched and passed to would remove the requirement for Meadow to include these chemicals on their packaging. Lastly, Meadow lawyers colluded with the AMA to release a line of Meadow anti-depressants.
The results were astounding – the first month of sales netted more profit for Meadow than their entire line had received in prior years. The first full year resulted in new marketing including Meadow in a large variety of settings, to include sports, martial-arts, furniture sales, and office supplies. When the new Meadow anti-depressants were mentioned on Orpah an additional set of customers were added
It finally was officially lauded as a quotidian institution when the phrase “How’s your Meadow”, to mean “what Meadow anti-depressant do you prefer”, was included in the common-usage dictionary.
Taking cues from their Scent-Of-A-Lady line, the chemical engineers at Meadow-Labs have spent the past decade researching the various effects of olfactory manipulation upon their various volunteers. It was not until last year that they realized several of the volunteers from a few of the test groups, a month after they had left their respective studies, had evidenced unaccounted side effects.
Rushing additional disclaimers to the family members, and quickly hiring the volunteers as olfactory contractors, Meadow began a battery of tests to determine the most likely cause. The result was astounding – a pair of intense chemicals that, when placed within one of their fast-acting odor-releasers, could enhance, deaden, or create temporary emotional responses, all within a one-hour time-span. The duration of the temporary emotional states was apparently tied to dosage, individual make-up, and method of application. But the effect was repeatable and affected each new olfactory contractor in exactly the same manner. In addition, there were no adverse side-effects.
Researchers at Meadow then rushed to identify the compounds, extract potential variations on those compounds, with the intent to determine the scope of their findings. The results were staggering. All existing Meadow plug-ins could be easily outfitted with the new materials. A small chemical shift in the current plug-ins would turn each into a perpetual emotional manipulative, able to enhance the customer’s Meadow experience in a way that had here-to-fore been impossible but now was not only possible but was cost-effective.
However, Meadow had one major problem – anti-hypnosis hysteria. It was well known (or well at least well-theorized) that several years ago motion picture companies had produced a limited run of manipulative films, designed to sell more candy and popcorn at the theatre. The results were pronounced and astounding; but, their published results created an anti-hypnosis scare that had affected all marketing campaigns. The lawyers at Meadow insisted that their new product would easily be construed as a form of hypnosis. And so Meadow decided to address the issue with appropriate subtlety.
First, the active chemicals in their new products were pitched by Meadow lawyers to the appropriate lobbyists, getting legislation passed that classified them as non-invasive. Then, legislation was fought pitched and passed to would remove the requirement for Meadow to include these chemicals on their packaging. Lastly, Meadow lawyers colluded with the AMA to release a line of Meadow anti-depressants.
The results were astounding – the first month of sales netted more profit for Meadow than their entire line had received in prior years. The first full year resulted in new marketing including Meadow in a large variety of settings, to include sports, martial-arts, furniture sales, and office supplies. When the new Meadow anti-depressants were mentioned on Orpah an additional set of customers were added
It finally was officially lauded as a quotidian institution when the phrase “How’s your Meadow”, to mean “what Meadow anti-depressant do you prefer”, was included in the common-usage dictionary.
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