Occasional Sputterings

The Door I want to tell you about a door.  It is blue, or green, or whatever suits the need for its use. It smells of sandalwood, crisp autumn days - of hidden, silent summers that leave only embers of possibility to note their footprint.  Sounds waft their way to your ears and other senses - as if the idea that listening for sounds was the simply the easiest way of responding to vibrations - but engagement of other senses would make the experience, as a whole, be more satisfying. Many stories have been written about it because it possesses many remarkable qualities - the least of which is that it is not well hidden. In fact, nearly everyone has accidentally opened it ... frequently preceded by hastily backing out of it.  There is an irony to its use in that those who open it the most are generally those who stop looking for it; this is because its position, much like its presentation, moves to match the need. The door serves one purpose - it is a gateway to the what-ifs, the may

This is page 1 of an unwritten story. For them. I was fully self-aware the moment I was conceived.  I did not understand where I was at first - my eyes were not initially as useful as they would be later - but I was not uncomfortable. Flashes of heaviness, of being shaken or attached or nudged, of proprioceptive disorientation created opportunities to ask questions of my little bubble - and helped me ultimately appreciate when I began breathing, when I had a thumping, beating heart, when I had arms and legs and eyes like tiny buttons shielded behind clear lids. I did not have a sense of other, of there being anything save myself; I was, I believe, protected from what I suspect was a form of nascent loneliness.  Loneliness only happens when you realize there is you and other.  The closest I had to an "other" was the hint of a quiet, repetitive sound above my head. I heard it louder and with more clarity as I grew; however, it was simply a reliable background noise

So I'm a knight. This is true - simply because I am the hero of my own story and I wanna be. My maiden has already been "saved" - I married her, as it were. So what is a knight to do when the traditional quest has been resolved? Well - what do you do when you beat a game you love? You can either go elsewhere (new game? new wife? not a great direction...) Or, if its an AWESOME GAME, you play it again. So that's what I'm doing. My quest is simple (and there is documentation for success criteria here ) But the simple overview is: I am a knight. I will win the maiden. It is NOT a foregone conclusion - because growth/change is needed. Are you a knight? Or, if you're a maiden/wife: Married/passive: Are you still worth being rescued?  Have you kept your promises to yourself and God ever since you found your dowry-keeper?  Are you being who you intended to be when you first, with starry eyes, committed to your companion? Married/active: Are yo