02-03 - The mirror marriage

(Published 21-Oct-2020 23:55:19)

 "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," said Frank, as he flicked his cigarette.

"Just hear me out," said Michael.

"Well, at least let me buy a round," said Frank.

A quick nod to the bartender afforded the two of them a refill.

"Thanks," said Michael. "Okay, it's simple. Mirror vowing."

"Okay," said Frank. "Can you go over it one more time?"

"Sure," said Michael. "The idea is simple enough. We use mirror neuron feedback to learn what works and what doesn't - to reinforce both good and bad behaviors."

"Um, okay," said Frank.

"And the abstract idea of a wedding is that two people make a promise," said Michael.

"Right ..." said Frank. Eye meandering the bar, Frank's attention returned to the other side of the table with a sip.

"That's the idea. You take two people who don't have a marriage certificate, who aren't going to be married, and you have them intentionally focus," said Michael.

"Focus on what," said Frank.

"Focus on their corresponding role," said Michael. "They have to work it out before-hand. It is intentional, after all. But the idea is that they get some of the benefits of marriage without any of the commitment."

"But then, what's the point," said Frank. "If they're not getting married, why bother?"

Downing the tequila shot, Michael said, "That's the whole point! Marriage seems to have two parts. The promise and the commitment. My idea is that the promises themselves, specifically declaring their wedding vows in front of one another, is how good marriages succeed."

Shaking his head, Frank said. "That's stupid. People lie about what they're gonna do all the time. Why would copying two people who are going to get married make any difference?"

Smacking the table, Michael leaned into Frank.

"Faith! It's like a placebo effect. It's the wedding itself that wraps the promise in more gravitas," said Michael.

"But this hypothetical couple - they're not the one's getting married," said Frank. "So, it wouldn't mean anything."

"Ah, but that's where intention comes in." said Michael. "Get two people who want the benefits of marriage without the commitment. Have them crash a wedding a month and use the perpetual re-dedication to reinforce their own relationship."

"That seems like a whole lot of work for two people who aren't gonna get married." said Frank. "If they're willing to go through all of that - why not just get married."

"Oh, cause weddings are expensive," said Michael. "And a ridiculous number of marriages end in divorce."

"So, what, your hypothetical couple would stay together because of this hobby," asked Frank. "Seems like they're actually lying to themselves about wanting to get married."

"I guess," said Michael.

"And besides," said Frank. "It sounds like, if they live in one of a handful of states that honor common-law marriages, they might already be married anyway."

"How does that work, anyway," asked Michael. "Do they send those partners a certificate after, like, seven years or something?"

"I dunno, man," said Frank. "But you really should just ask her to marry you."

"What do you mean?" said Michael.

"Annie. I know that's where you got the idea from." said Frank. "Let's just say that scenario's one hell of a hint."

"Nah," said Michael. "We talked about it a few years ago. She's too stubborn."

"Mike," said Frank. "She's still with you, she brought up the idea, and she's stubborn. She inceptioned you."

"That's not even a word," said Michael.

"Doesn't mean it's not true," said Frank.

"Look, I gotta go," said Michael. "See you tomorrow."

"You too, bud," said Frank. "You too."